It's scary to feel like you might never measure up to someone's expectations you love.
Deep down I know he could pass on that stuff, but never the less it seems like a necessary inconvenience to attend these events. Dozens of missionaries have told me that the gender ratios in other countries are far, far worse.
I don't think we are going to end up being friends but I'll get over that. Trust me, I too tried to make it work with my very Mormon also returned missionary ex-girlfriend.